“In the relationship, you must have a sexual component that will maintain closeness between partners and romantic chemistry,” says psychiatrist Gail Salt, author of The Ripple Effect: How Better Sex Can Lead To A Better Life. . “If you are dissatisfied with your sexual life, it can lead to problems outside the bedroom including frustration, resentment and emotional distance.”
Do not panic. With a bit of creativity, you can sexually experience a physical connection that will be as good as other spheres of your relationship.
Bad sex can mean a bad relationship, and many people ignore this. On the other hand, good sex does not guarantee that the relationship is good. Many people, however, refuse to understand why sexual dissatisfaction is an important indicator that the relationship is not right.
Clinical psychologist Pulkit Sharma at the Vimans Hospital in Delhi explains why bad sex is a bad relationship.
Bad sex as a reflection of the crisis in the relationship
In many couples, bad sex is only a reflection of a problem that shakes the relationship. 50% of people feel terrible frustration. Bearing in mind that intimacy implies opening, the one who feels bad about it refuses to open, which has a bad influence on sex. “In many cases, bad sex is a symptom of other problems,” says Salcova. For example, you might be reluctant to have sex because you are secretly afraid of attachment. Instead of facing the truth, it’s easier for you to blame bad sex – because, despite this your connection is perfect. Dr. Teri Orbuk of the University of Michigan believes that if you have always had unsustainable sexual relations, perhaps some bad experiences from the past they may have created these sexual obstacles. Sex can also reflect emotional problems such as jealousy, negligence or annoyance, leaving too much at work, belittling your feelings, disagreeing with your friends … If you do not recognize that these are actually problems you need to solve together, they will easily “switch” to the bedroom and sabotage an excellent sex life that you might have.
Bad sex and neglect
Bad sex signals that someone is neglecting the needs and desires of the other. In good relationship, both partners are very interested in sexual satisfaction and they are never selfish.
Bad sex and mismatch of personality
Bad sex often signals that two people do not have the same personality or similar interest. Someone likes to experiment in sex, and someone loves the monotony. Large differences in needs often indicate that people are not similar to each other.
Bad sex and misunderstanding
If one of the partners does not show an excessive interest in what the other partner does and what he cares about, it will also affect sex, which is a sure indication that something is wrong.
Problem: Both of you are bored
If you have enjoyed passionate sexual intercourse only during short and tumultuous relationships, you may be reluctant to enter that this side of your personality into a long-term relationship.
“Many women think that when they start having fun with someone special, they do not want to” tweak it “with risky behavior,” explains the expert on the relationship Dr. Teri Orbuk of the University of Michigan. “They believe that stable relationships are not for unscrupulous sex and are afraid of what their” nice “boy might think if they become more provocative.”
Take out care from your head. You can have a healthy relationship and wild sex. All you need is a little communication. “Talk about your fantasies, things you did not try together like sex toys, gels, more aggressive sex, or role playing.”
Rarely make love
Sex is like Chinese food. If one of you two eats, there is usually a way to persuade the other to give up the pizza. Similarly, if none of you are trying to encourage the initiative, it shows a serious lack of interest.
Different people have different temptation templates. Michel Weiner-Davies, author of the book “The Sex-Starved Marriage”, says about half of all women and men first feel mental excitement, and after that a desire for physical intimacy. The other half has to be physically stimulated to get horny.
If both of them are in a second group, sex can be a problem, because no one feels a burning urge to make the first step. “Instead of waiting for you to be in the mood for sex, you may need to start with intimate behavior, and then the desire will follow,” says Weiner-Davies. Love yourself, grease, gnaw, lick … and then decide whether you want sex or not.
If it does not help, it may be a problem in low libido. “Libido controls the hormones,” says Dr. Helen Fisher, author of the book “Why Him?” Why Her? “And if you change the levels of these hormones, you can often boost your desire.
One way to boost your hormone levels is to do some new things together. Instead of hanging on the couch on weekends, go to nature; Plan your trip to a place you have not been to before.