Sexologist found that men of different ages have different sexual needs. And although not all men are the same, there are characteristics that are common to them in certain years. A man in his twenties is hypnotized by sex games and exploring his own sexuality, and when he steps in the next decade of life, his libido desperately struggles to deny the traces of the past years, until it’s broken down by the unrelenting pace of modern time.
In order for male sexuality to reach an optimal level, and for a man to be able to love and be sexually successful, all early stages of personality and sexuality development should go without major downtime and psychological conflicts. The more the relationship with the mother in the first years of life is better and emotionally warmer, the more are the self-confidence of a man and the capacity to care for the other being greater. The relationship with the father is of crucial importance for the formation of male identity and sexuality. Sharing masculine themes, socializing with his father, and accepting his view of the world, creates a healthy and normal man from a boy. It is therefore important that the father, or any other man, is actively involved in the upbringing of a male child. Finally, the success of sexual life depends on the partner, whose behavior contributes significantly in both positive and negative terms.
THE AGE OF PASSION: FROM 20TH TO 30TH YEAR
This period is characterized by great insecurity in himself and in his own sexuality. Young men are afraid whether the girl will like them, whether they are “big enough” or whether they will be sexually successful. The insecurity about the size of a penis leads to the fact that some of the men may develop an inferiority complex. Men in this period engage in conquests and short sexual intercourse without great emotional attachment. This helps them to develop self-confidence through attempts and mistakes and they get to know girls, their behavior and reactions. “Twenty-year-old wants a wide range of experiences, those who yearn for finding a soul mate in this period are rare.
Since sex drive is the strongest in this period, quantity is placed ahead of quality. “The level of testosterone is higher in this age than it will ever be,” says Barbara Kissling, author of the book “Men in Bed.” “They can make love, ejaculate, hold an erection … Then everything from the beginning, because they are almost always horny.” Unfortunately, such sexual energy and rush mean that there are greater chances of premature ejaculation.
In the second half of the twenties the man is slowly learning who he is and what he is, but, since so many things change in his life, he has ambivalent feelings about emotional attachment. As for sex, these are his golden years, a period that is never forgotten and an inspiration for the campfire tales: He is young and strong enough to have sexual power, but also enough to be mature to know how to fully satisfy his girlfriend. “He still has strong erections, but he has learned from the system of attempts and mistakes how to sustain them longer, so he is able to maintain a state of high excitement, yet not finish too fast,” Kissling says. He also becomes very creative and innovative in terms of sexual poses.
THE AGE OF REASON: FROM 30THTO 45TH YEAR
Sex is no longer the number one topic, as life goals are now in the forefront. Now the intellectual potentials of the partner are important for a man, and physical attractiveness, although still important, is not the only one he’s interested in. In the early thirties, a man is no longer a kid, but his libido desperately struggles to deny that. In the mid-thirties, he probably has several long relationships behind him, which is a plus for his sexual skills and competence. “Men in those years become more prone to experiment,” Kissling claims. We do not see often twenty-year-olds who fall for role games or S&M variants, because they do not need them – a touch or the stronger breeze is enough for their excitement. But most men in the mid-30s experience a weakening of sexual power, so it is possible that, in order to make up for it, they begin to transcend their fantasies into reality.
Man’s “sex power” in this period is decreasing. This, of course, does not mean that they have problems with an erection, but that the man’s instinct is more pronounced at a young age when the brain is “overwhelmed” with hormones. Erectile dysfunction does not have to be a natural companion of aging. Over the years, the most common problem for men is the “unreliable erection”, which means it’s infrequent, or not always strong enough. The stress of work and a serious relationship can, however, from time to time, snap into the bedroom and extend the time it takes to get excited as it used to be.
The negative sexual response is also affected by the relationship between partners. A relationship in which there is no closeness is overcome by hostility, anger, misunderstanding, a sense of lower value and fear, which is killing the sexual desire and potency.
A man may feel the desire, but a penis may “refuse it”. Men tend to mix the concept of sexual desire with the need to prove themselves as successful, responsive to the “macho” expectations of the society, or the expectations of a partner, but in essence not to have a real desire. Often, after a “sexual failure”, a man is afraid that the failure will be repeated, so this fear is what “kills” the desire when it comes to the intercourse.
THE DUSK OF SEXUALITY: AFTER THE 50TH YEAR
The fact is that sexual desire is decreasing after the 50th year in most men. Changes in the potency are due to the “aging of the exciting apparatus”, more precisely due to the aging of blood vessels, nerves, muscles, the brain, as well as due to various chronic diseases that can be companions of aging – psychiatrists and sexologists say. Of course, changes may be more or less present. Men who have preserved general physical and mental health and are satisfied with the life they have will remain sexually active for much longer. Diseases that directly contribute to sexual impotence are diabetes and other endocrinological disorders, blood vessel sclerosis, inflammatory and degenerative diseases that damage the nerves, and prostate and colon surgery. Erectile dysfunction may cause mental suffering, worry, and discomfort.
To compensate for the lack of passion, bring as much as possible closeness in intimate relationships. A woman has to make sure that in a man who has difficult times in aging and weakening of sexual impulse, she resembles a good association. He does not need her to grumble and constantly complain because he will see a picture of his own age in her. Do everything that pleases you and what makes life joyful for you. A man will appreciate if he feels responsible for the happiness of his woman.
SEX AFTER THE 60TH? WHY NOT!
Sexual activity of a man can last for the entire lifetime, and even after 60th, sexologists say. That’s why he has to take care of his general health and keep in mind that some drugs disturb the erectile function. In consultation with the doctor, this can be avoided. The main rule for healthy sex after the ‘60s is – the more often, the better. A loss of sexual power comes due to longer periods without intimate relationships in the old age.